The very first time I took my little baby steps.
The very first time I said a real word (goo-goo-gaa-gaa is excluded).
The very first time I packed up my bag ready to start my first day of school.
Mom and Dad was there to witness it all.
Countless number of times when I made my Mom cry.
Countless number of times when I got my Dad frustrated.
Countless number of times when Mom and Dad fought because of me.
Countless number of times when I made my Dad sweat and tire because of me.
Mom and Dad always forgives me and loves me.
When the world took their weapons and threw it at me.
When the world has no shelter left for this soul of mine.
When the world laughs when I cry.
When the world gives us pointless stumbles.
Mom and Dad always kept me close to their heart and protected us.
And after all this.
When it's time for them to sit beside God and looks at us from above.
Where do we go?
Where do we take refuge?
How do we get through this world alone?
Tulisan yang bener-bener ada dihati gue sekarang adalah tulisan di atas.
To be honest, everytime my parents gives me advice, otak gue selalu berfikir,"Maunya apa sih!? Marahin ga guna!" atau "Dijalan tadi macet ya!? Kok sensi banget sih!" atau bahkan "Ahh. Tanpa nasehat kalian juga gue bisa"
Dan bodohnya gue, gue ga sadar kalo ini semua untuk KEBAIKAN GUE SENDIRI.
Gue ga sadar bahwa my parents stayed up all night crying untuk KEBAIKAN GUE SENDIRI.
Dan gue baru sadar setelah hidup didunia ini selama 17 tahun dan 8 bulan. Tersadarnya gue akan hal ini adalah karena suatu kejadian hidup gue yang benar-benar memutarbalikkan hidup gue. Pada saat itu, dunia seakan-akan menyatu untuk menjatuhkan gue. Dan disaat itu, I have nowhere to shelter, kecuali my Mom and Dad's warm hug that makes me feel that this world can be conquered.
Dan jujur, gue ga akan sanggup menjalani perjalanan panjang ini tanpa mereka.
And then I think to myself. "How can I ever repay them? How can I repay all those tears I made them cry? How can I repay the time consumed just for me?"
And then I came to my dad and asked him.
My dad said,"The only reason why I'm surviving in this world, is because of your brothers and you. And everything I do, is for that smile I've been longing for, when you see the challenging road ahead." And he gave me a hug that made me realize that he loves me so much. Enough to sacrifice himself just at the sight of me succeeding.
Between life and death, it's God's choice. He makes the decision.
In this remaining years God have left for my parents, my only goal is to see them smile on their deathbed. A smile that shows satisfaction and eternal happiness.
:')
Dedicated to Mom, Dad, and 'You' :)
